30 Lessons Before 30
The last days of my twenties have been filled with significant transitions, rekindling of friendships, healing, and nostalgia. With so many things finally aligning in my little world, I can’t help but think of the number of lessons that life has taught me in the last ten years.
In honor of my 30th birthday being less than 30 days away, I thought what better way to celebrate it with you than to share what I’ve learned along this passage to adulthood.
Here are my 30 lessons learned.
ONE: LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOURSELF
People will always have something to say about you whether you're doing what's best for you or not. As long as you’re putting yourself first and making the best decisions for your life, there is nothing else that matters.
TWO: PAIN DOESN’T HEAL OVERNIGHT
To truly heal from pain, you must learn to love yourself first and understand that nothing in our human makeup heals itself overnight. Never short yourself of needed healing or cleansing, because if you do, you’ll relive that painful moment for the rest of your life.
THREE: NO ONE IS GOING TO SAVE YOU
No wish will magically improve your situation, and no handout will solve all of your problems. There are people in our lives that love us, but it’s not their job to take care of us forever. It’s a disservice them, and yourself to believe you don’t have all that you need to save yourself. Get control over your life today and take charge of your future.
FOUR: A FAMILY LEGACY IS A CHOICE
A family legacy or inheritance is more than love and memories left behind. If you genuinely want to make a difference for your family or community, make this your number one priority. You can either add to an existing one or work hard at creating a new one. A legacy can either start or finish with you.
FIVE: THINK OF YOUR LIFE AS A BOOK
Think of the best photo you've ever taken on the cover of a book, would you pick it up and read it? If your answer is no, then I'd stop everything that you're doing in your life right now and start thinking of ways to make life more engaging. Not for people around you or your followers on social media, but for you. If you’re not interested in your own life, then that’s a huge red flag.
SIX: DON’T WAIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS PERFECT
Some things that are “good enough” should be good enough or you’ll never enjoy life like people did pre-social media days. I spent most of my twenties wanting everything to be perfect before I could fathom the idea of enjoyment. Today, I'm working on accepting things that are good enough and being okay with that decision.
SEVEN: LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
Learn to love yourself unconditionally when you’re young because it will save you from many heartaches as you move through life. It'll also help you take better care of yourself and live a much healthier lifestyle.
EIGHT: PUT YOUR HAPPINESS FIRST
It is not selfish to put your happiness first. If you don’t know how to make yourself happy or rather put other’s happiness before yours, you’ll find yourself disappointed a lot. It’s important to realize if something or someone is not adding to your life’s satisfaction. Then, decide to either remove yourself from the situation or try to improve it.
NINE: TIME IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY
Money is unlimited, and we can always find smart ways to make more of it. What we cannot do is create more time. The best lesson I learned in my 20s was how not to give up 100% of my time doing things I did not love for money.
TEN: MONEY CAN BUY FREEDOM
When you become a good steward over your money, you’ll realize that you are gaining more autonomy over your life's choices. You're able to do whatever you want, when you want and not have to worry about money. Having a good handle on money early on in life will open up many doors and allow you to live out your purpose without stress. That's freedom or at least a sense of it.
ELEVEN: HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
Many things in life are out of our control, but you have to be grateful for the things that you can change. Adolescent tendencies of impatience, ungratefulness, and selfishness are the real reasons why many adults are unhappy. As you get older, choosing to be happy every day can be hard, but once you follow the path of gratitude, it will bring you peace.
TWELVE: DREAM JOBS CAN BE SEASONAL
You’ve landed that dream job, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay there forever. Your career goals should be to learn and grow as much as possible while increasing your network. If you're not doing two out of the three, then it's time to move on. Don't worry if you find yourself changing jobs or careers a few times in your 20s. Eventually, you'll find your fit and be much happier with the well-rounded experience that you've gained.
THIRTEEN: ALIGN YOUR PASSIONS WITH YOUR WORK
Before choosing your next job, be sure that the actual day-to-day work is something that you could see yourself doing, even if you were NOT getting a paycheck. That’s when you know you’ve found work that's a good fit. Learning to align your actual day-to-day work with your passions will help you to enjoy work and life more.
FOURTEEN: HUSTLE ONLY FOR A SEASON, NOT FOR LIFE
I’m not condoning a lifetime of laziness, but believe your hustle should only be for a season or different seasons in your life. There’s no reason why you should break your back for 60 years, not ever having the chance to experience life's pleasures. There is a season for everything, don’t let your hustle season take over other seasons in life.
FIFTEEN: SAVE 50% OF EVERY DOLLAR EARNed
I became an avid learner of the F.I.R.E. (Financial Independence and Retire Early) lifestyle a couple of years ago when I realized that I had nothing to show for all of my hard work. If I could go back ten years and talk to myself about money, I’d tell myself to save 50% of every dollar earned. The earlier you learn this life hack, the better you'll be at 30. You may even retire at 30.
SIXTEEN: NEVER EXCHANGE DEBT FOR HAPPINESS
Did you know that using a credit card when you don’t have the cash in the bank is exchanging debt for happiness? Coming out of college, I did not know this, but if you think about it, it’s true. If you can’t afford it today, then buy it with cash tomorrow. If you can’t afford to buy it with cash tomorrow, then you can’t afford it, PERIODt! Have a plan for every dollar and live BELOW your means... until you become a millionaire and can live within them.
SEVENTEEN: SPEND money to LIVE BETTER
Even with a small budget, taking care of yourself is essential. Do not deprive yourself of things that you need. I love challenging myself with budget restraints to stay on target with my savings, but it’s not okay to restrain yourself from everything. Especially if it helps you to live a better life. Learn what works best for you and do that. As long as you’re not carrying debt and saving for your future, you’re doing great!
EIGHTEEN: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
While you're young, be sure that you're taking care of yourself with regular doctor's visits and eating healthy. It’s much easier to establish healthy habits when you're 30 versus when you’re 70. Taking care of yourself also means going to therapy, letting go of grudges, and speaking healing/positivity into your life.
NINETEEN: LIFT YOUR OWN SPIRTS
Use your inner voice to speak healing, life, and positivity into your spirit. Encourage yourself with a compliment just as you would a friend, lover, mentee. Tell yourself a joke, laugh out loud, or smile at yourself in the mirror. Do whatever it takes to feel better about yourself on good and bad days.
TWENTY: PRAY FOR YOURSELF, FAMILY AND STRANGERS
It’s essential to learn how to pray for the world by 30. There are many people in our families and friend groups that carry severe issues with them every day. Some people share their problems, but others hold them tight and hide behind masks. Learning to pray for others, even when you don’t know the entire situation sends good energy their way, and it helps you to feel better too. It’s also pleasing to think maybe someone is out there praying for you too.
TWENTY-ONE: GIVE WHEN TANKS ARE OVERFLOWING
No matter how much you care, give only when your tank (purse, household, plate, self-love, etc.) is FULL. When your tank is half-full, it’s not impossible to give, but it’s not sustainable. To give without regret or hesitation, you must learn to give when all of your tanks are overflowing.
TWENTY-TWO: TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOME FIRST
I love my family and friends but had to realize that I couldn’t take care of everybody. I know previous generations have taught us to put family first, but that advice has gotten everyone nowhere. If everyone successfully took care of themselves, there would be no need for one person always to have to take care of everybody. It’s draining, unsustainable, and enabling. Don’t get caught up in this type of situation with loved ones or you’ll never get ahead.
TWENTY-THREE: BE PROUD OF YOURSELF
No matter where you are in life, you’ve had to accomplish something that makes you proud to be you. Take a moment out of your day to remember those accomplishments and toot your own horn. When you remember how great you are, it’s a confidence booster!
TWENTY-FOUR: LET YOUR NO’S BE A NO
The older you get, the more you realize that you can't say yes to everything. If you do, you'll find yourself drained, overextended, or sitting somewhere nursing a headache. If it’s something you don’t have a definite yes for, say no and feel good about it. Learn the power of no; it's the best gift you can give to yourself.
TWENTY-FIVE: GO TO THERAPY
Therapy is a Godsend and should be as vital for you as going to the doctor or working out. If you haven't found a great therapist or counselor by the time you reach 30, you're missing out on a critical element that has helped so many successful people get to where they are now. From challenges to milestones, a good counselor can help you grow, heal, and level up.
TWENTY-SIX: EAT HEALTHY
Once you learn to follow a healthier lifestyle, you'll realize that the food tastes better, and you feel how eating quality foods make you more youthful. Eating healthy is not a restriction on food, but a choice to live a long and wholesome life.
TWENTY-SEVEN: GO TO THE DOCTOR
I’ve always loved going to the doctor, and as I approach 30, I still make it a priority. I don’t mind researching to find the best doctors and paying good money for my health. You either pay for it now or pay ten times more for it later.
TWENTY-EIGHT: PREPARE FOR YOUR FUTURE
As kids, we plan for the exact moment we become independent adults. Then, when we become adults, we forget about planning for all the other stages in life. It's tough, but you have to make plans for all of life's future scenarios like getting old or your parents getting old. Not planning for your future-future can be a huge mistake!
TWENTY-NINE: HUG YOUR LOVES ONES
Life is sweet, sour, and short. Be present, enjoy it and the all beautiful people that come with it as long as physically possible.
THIRTY: PLAY CHESS WITH YOUR LIFE
Don’t let life push you around! You have all of the right tools available for you to live the life that you want. Whether it's for your career or your family, at all times, you should be thinking about your next three best moves. Avoid making impulsive decisions that will cost you precious time to make up and be intentional. When you're deliberate about your daily choices, you'll find better satisfaction in life.
